I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

A bird covered in golden fur passed before my eyes.
A dense forest covered the sky and the cool air brushed my cheeks.
The fresh mountain breeze disturbed my hair as I looked around.

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“Here is…”

As I stood blankly in an unfamiliar space and looked ahead, I heard a voice with a smile from behind.

“This way, Han Yi-gyeol.”

Startled, I quickly looked back.
On a large stone, half-covered with soil and green buds, someone was sitting there watching me.

“You seem very surprised.”

It was an unidentified man wearing a dark grey rough robe from head to toe.
With a dark shadow covering his face, I felt an unusual atmosphere and dignity that couldn’t be approached easily.

I swallowed dry saliva and asked carefully.

“Who are you if I may know?”

“Are you curious?”

The answer came back as a question.

“Or are you curious about this place?”

Unknown places, unpredictable people.
But oddly enough, I wasn’t wary.
Instead of running away or using ability, I said.

“I want to know both.”

“Right.
It’s not difficult to answer.”

The man got up and came down to the ground.
Grey robe fluttered in the wind and green buds sprouted with every step.

“This is inside a dream.
To be exact… Han Yi-gyeol.
I came to your dream.”

Dream? Was this place in a dream now?

“But it’s too much.”

“Too realistic.”

The man walked forward and waved his hand to me.
After a moment’s hesitation, I followed him.
The thick shadows of the thick leaves gradually faded and a meadow with a clear blue sky was revealed in front of me.

I opened my mouth at the feeling of being out of breath.
The cool wind blew the grass and the white clouds passed quickly.
When I looked up at the sky with my mind, the man said as if he understood.

“It’s a difficult place to come in today’s world.”

It sure was.
Come to think of it, I had always wanted to come to a place like this.
A place where you didn’t feel stuffy and made you feel comfortable just looking at it.

Once I knew everything I needed to know… Travelling in search of a place like this didn’t seem too bad.

“Why did you come to see me?”

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I pushed the future work aside and asked the man again.
The man who was looking at me opened his mouth with a calm voice.

“It seems like things are going more complicated than I thought, so I stopped by to see your face.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“It is literally.
I do understand though.
You’ve gone through a lot you didn’t want to… We’re going to experience it in the future, so I have no choice but to come and see.”

I frowned at the sight of the other person who only said unknown words, but the man strode closer to me and stood there.
I didn’t know he was wearing a strange bulky shirt, but he was quite tall.

“Even if it’s a dream, it’s our first meeting, so I might as well give you a simple present.
Here.”

“……?”

The man opened his pale hand wide, revealing two round candies.
Light sky blue candy and black candy.

“Choose.”

“Choose?”

As I looked at it with bewilderment, the man who let out a laugh sound like a bird singing softly, gently grabbed my shoulder with his other hand.

“It will give you the dreams you need.
There are different things to see depending on the candy, so choose carefully.”

Even if I tell you to choose carefully…

After thinking for a while, I sighed and picked up the light sky blue candy.
It was better than black candy.

“Stop worrying about useless things and eat.
You have to eat to end this dream anyway.”

The man who spoke firmly to me, who held the candy and was hesitant, took a couple of steps back.
I slowly put the candy in my mouth, looking at the man who I couldn’t see his face.

“Ah, this.
I almost forgot.
Han Yi-gyeol.”

With a bitter taste, my eyes began to flow down like liquid.
The cool wind that tickled my cheeks and the fragrant smell of grass that I felt at the tip of my nose were disappearing with the man.

“I met the person you sent me.
He will return to you soon.”

“What…”

“Then take care of yourself.”

At the end of those words, my body fell to somewhere and darkness came.

* * *

It looked red and sticky.
Blood soaked my hand and ran down my wrist. Sob, sob.
I lifted my head that was bowing with tears out.

“Do you love me?”

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There was contempt in the cold voice.
I nodded my head quickly.
I wanted him to recognize my sincerity and I wanted him to understand.

“Yeah.”

“……”

“Do you really think so?”

Cheon Sa-yeon stood with his back to the moonlight coming through the window.
As I sat down and looked up at him, I noticed an annoying feeling in his black eyes.

Suddenly everything became embarrassing.
I felt my face heat up and hid my blood-soaked hands behind my back.
Cheon Sa-yeon let out a low sigh at my actions.

“Han Yi-gyeol.”

“Th, that… I didn’t do that on purpose, I…”

I didn’t want to disappoint Cheon Sa-yeon.
The thought of him abandoning me was so frightening that words couldn’t come out.

I hurriedly poured out excuses, but Cheon Sa-yeon cut the conversation with a look he wasn’t curious at all.

“This is not love, Han Yi-gyeol.”

“Master…”

“You just needed an object to be obsessed with on behalf of your sister.”

With that, Cheon Sa-yeon left the room without looking back. Squeak, bang! The cold air weighed down my shoulders with the sound of the door closing.

“……”

I needed an object to be obsessed with.

I wanted to deny it right away, but for some reason, I couldn’t spit it out easily.
The face of a young girl who was smiling as she looked at me came to mind.

Was I really cherishing Cheon Sa-yeon’s love in my heart on behalf of my dead sister? If there was someone else in the place of Cheon Sa-yeon now…  

“I don’t know…”

Drip, tears fell on the bloodstains.

Me too, I was terrible at this.
It was a curse to live in the same place every time even if I tried to be different, to lose someone you love and be despised.

I’d rather die.
I couldn’t afford to go on with my life.
If I disappeared, you would be more comfortable, Cheon Sa-yeon, because there would be fewer places to worry about.

However, ironically, as soon as I thought about it, strong pain in my chest came rushing.
I hated dying while being imprinted only as a troublesome figure for him.

“Cheon Sa-yeon.”

A person who was as beautiful as a rose that bloomed in ruins and a heartless person.

I hoped you would remember me for a long time.
I was willing to do anything for that.

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The pure white moon seen out of the window became cloudy like paint spreading on the water.
I slowly closed my eyes at the fainting mind.

* * *

I felt a cool, gentle hand brushing my forehead.
I slowly lifted my eyelids as I felt a tickling sensation over my closed eyes.

I could see a face reflected by a lamp on the bedside table.
Cheon Sa-yeon, who was lying next to me and watching me, bent his eyes and asked quietly with a smile.

“Did you sleep well?”

“……”

Fortunately, it seemed to be a reality this time, not a dream.
I had a series of strange dreams and the corners of my head were still hazy.

“I thought I was having a nightmare.”

It was then that I noticed the heart beating rapidly and the cold sweat on my forehead.
I stared at Cheon Sa-yeon with mind and took a look into the darkened room.

“…is it the Requiem hospital room?”

“You must be used to it now that you’re here.”

“Why are you lying next to me?”

“You were the one who called my name.”

At that, I frowned involuntarily.
I called your name? Was it because of the dream about Han Yi-gyeol?

Squeak.
When Cheon Sa-yeon raised his upper body, the bed shook lightly.
Recalling the situation just before I passed out, I lay down and opened my mouth.

“How much time has passed?”

“About a day.
You still look tired.”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who spoke in a soft voice, swept my cheek with his large hand.
But this guy… he had been fiddling around a lot since last time.

Because I had a dream of Han Yi-gyeol, I wasn’t very pleased with Cheon Sa-yeon’s touch.
I wanted to get rid of it right away, but fatigue weighed heavily on my body.
As I lay quietly without rebelling, his hand passed over my face and down to my neck.

“I was wondering why you were so restless.
The fever is quite high.”

“I’m tired…”

Aside from being unwelcome, Cheon Sa-yeon’s hand on my neck was cool and it felt good.
In a hazy mind, when I rubbed my cheek without realizing it in the hand of Cheon Sa-yeon’s touching my ear, I heard a light laugh like the wind.

“For some reason, you’re doing aegyo.”

“Don’t say nonsense… Edward-ssi?”

Chloe, who had worried about her younger brother, Edward, flashed through my mind.
Cheon Sa-yeon, who understood the meaning without any additional words, answered by placing his cool hand on my neck.

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“He came back safely.
He’s going to the hotel room where Chloe is staying now and resting.
The wound on the neck was treated by a healer.”

“I’m glad.”

Really.

I slowly closed my eyes and opened them all with sincere relief.
As my mind relaxed, I could feel the heat swallowing up my body.
The fever rose in all places except the place where Cheon Sa-yeon had touched.

“It’s getting worse.”

After muttering in a low voice, Cheon Sa-yeon went down from the bed.
Then there was a faint sound of rummaging through the drawers.

Cough.
As I coughed, the nape of my neck tightened.
Not long after I had regained consciousness, my physical condition was rapidly deteriorating.
It seemed my body aching terribly all over like before.

I couldn’t take it any longer.
I needed to sleep.
It was night after all, so let’s sleep until morning.
When I woke up, I met some other people…

“…Yi-gyeol.
Han Yi-gyeol.”

“Ung…”

Terrifyingly strong drowsiness came rushing in.
As I answered involuntarily with a half-asleep mind, a cold finger opened my mouth and entered.
Cheon Sa-yeon, who lightly pressed my hot tongue, opened my mouth with an unusually difficult voice.

“Hm.
You can’t take medicine like this.”

The hand that came out of my mouth now grabbed my chin.
Cheon Sa-yeon, who raised my face to look straight ahead, stared at me from above.
The distance between me and Cheon Sa-yeon, whose face was half covered in the shadow of the light, was too close.

“Cheon…”

The moment I opened my mouth to call Cheon Sa-yeon’s name, blinking my blurred vision, something touched my lips.
Not only that, a softer and tender tongue than the finger, shoved into my mouth with water without hesitation.

“Uh…!”

My body trembled involuntarily at the unfamiliar sensation.
Reflexively, I grabbed Cheon Sa-yeon’s collar and swallowed the water.
Along with lukewarm water, a round pill easily passed down my throat.

“Huu, gasp…”

Realizing that I had swallowed it, Cheon Sa-yeon took off his lips and shoved the finger that had been holding my chin back into my mouth.
The finger that carefully scanned the inside of my mouth to see if there was any medicine left came out at the same time I twisted my forehead.

“It’s all done, go to sleep, Han Yi-gyeol.”

A blanket was placed over my chest, panting for breath.
I wanted to rationally judge what had just happened, but the heat soared to the limit and my head didn’t work properly.

Instead of cursing, I made a groaning sound and rolled my body into a circle and dug into the blanket.
Let’s think about it after sleeping.
I couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Sleep well, Han Yi-gyeol.”

Just before falling asleep, an incredibly friendly greeting was heard.