Chapter 17

Since the week I’ve started coming here, Estelle and I have gotten very close.

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We’re close enough to eat snacks alone together up on the rooftop of the building.

“Miss Nia, you’ve been too busy to eat yet, right? Let’s eat together.”

Estelle, who now naturally called me by my nickname, smiled and passed me a piece of bread.

The bread was made by a woman who received treatment a few days prior and wanted to give me a token of her gratitude.

At a glance, the bread looked tough and rustic.

And it tasted exactly as it looked.
It was like chewing on solid stone.

‘But it’s still delicious, I’m beat from moving around all day.’ 

“Eating bread after sweating is the best.” I mumbled under my breath, my eyes meeting Estelle’s.

‘Hey, Miss Female Lead.
I’ll get flustered if you look at me with such big and bright eyes.’

I coughed, my face slightly red.

“I guess I don’t have the dignity befitting a noble lady, do I? I’m a woman addicted to bread[1].
I’ll stop…”

“It’s not that, I think you’re amazing.”

My eyes opened wide at the unexpected compliment.

Since becoming Pernia, this was the first time someone ever told me I was amazing.
I had only heard people mention how uncouth I was, how my mind was addled and how generally strange I had become.

Estelle looked at the piece of bread in my hand and explained, “Most aristocrats usually wouldn’t show such enjoyment while eating that kind of bread.”

That’s true.
Only the richest and most decadent bread was served at the tables of nobility.

“Nor would they dance and sing in front of elderly people they’ve never seen before.”

Estelle, even if I wasn’t a noble I wouldn’t want to do that again…The reason I have such a black history is due to me being swept up in the moment.

“That’s why I like you, Miss Nia.”

My heart pounded with a resounding thump as Estelle smiled softly.

‘Could you please give me a warning before coming at me like that?’

My thoughts almost spilled out as I tried to calm my careening heart.

“Thank you.
By the way, Estelle, you said you’d be attending the Crown Prince’s birthday celebration in a few weeks, right?”

“Yes.”

“Have you decided on a dress to wear?”

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“I’m going to wear the dress I wore to your engagement ceremony.”

I almost burst into tears.

‘No way.
You’re going to wear that dress?’

That dress was a poverty-riddled masterpiece in tatters, void of so much as a frill or decorative stitch.

While it was normal for Estelle to wear a dress like that, if another wore it, she would be ridiculed as wearing a dress worn by her grandmother half a century ago.

I asked carefully, “It looked like a very old dress.
Have you thought of buying a new one?”

“No.
I haven’t.” she answered firmly.

“Why? It’s been a long time since you’ve gone to a banquet.
It would be nice to wear something pretty.”

“It’s not good for a saintess to wear such a dress.”

“Who on earth said such crazy things?”

Estelle continued, lowering her eyebrows.

“A lot of people.
I was upset about it when I was young, but now I understand.
There are so many people who can’t even eat a sliver of bread.
What would it look like to them if a saintess wore nice dresses and attended banquets?”

Because of that, it was not easy to get her a new dress.
Her wardrobe was tied to the responsibility and sensibility of a saintess.

‘However, I anticipated this.’

After I decided to help Estelle, I had thought long and hard.

‘What should I say to Estelle to get her to agree?’

Saying something like, “I just want to make you look beautiful.” wasn’t going to work.

But, what about this?

My shoulders slumped and I murmured with a somber countenance.

“I see.
Then it would be hard to wear matching friendship dresses with me.”

“Friendship dresses?”

“Yes, it’s a trend amongst young aristocrats.
Best friends wear dresses in matching colors and styles.
I really wanted to do it with you.”

“…”

“It won’t be possible, right?”

I waved my hand with a face that seemed full of disappointment.

“Don’t worry on my account.
I don’t mean to burden Estelle.”

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I’m lying.
I mean to put pressure on you.

So please take the bait.

Thinking inwardly, I lowered my eyes.
She didn’t say anything for a moment.

I hoped I looked as pitiful as possible.

After a while, Estelle’s small voice could be heard.

“Well, wouldn’t a cheap dress be okay?”

I raised my head suddenly.
“Really?”

“Yes, as Miss Nia said, the dress I have is too old.”

“Ah, I’m so happy!”

I wrapped my hands around Estelle’s.
As Estelle saw my enthusiasm, she smiled happily.

That was the lynchpin of operation: Getting Estelle to Wear a Pretty Dress.

Friendship!

────── 〔〕 ──────

“My lady, why are you wearing a dress today? Aren’t you going to the Flower Grass House today?” Asked Anne, recalling my routine as she helped me dress for the day.

“No, I have another appointment today.”

Anne’s face brightened at my words.

Anne began combing my lavender ringlets, chattering as she did so.
“That’s a relief.
I’m always so nervous that something dangerous might happen to you every time you go there.
You always look wane and exhausted every time you return.
So you won’t be going there anymore?”

It’s been a week since I started volunteering at the Flower Grass House.

But there was no reason to go back there now, my goal of Estelle and I establishing a relationship had been fulfilled.

But…

[Miss Nia!]

I changed my mind when I recalled Estelle’s excited face, which greeted me like a puppy every time I arrived.

“I will go there every now and then if I have time.”

“Huh?”

Anne looked as if she was about to cry at what I said.

Anne, I know you’re worried about me.
But…

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“But before there was no one else in this world who had witnessed a warm greeting from Estelle, and now there is only one.”

That’s how lovely her smile is.

Anne didn’t respond to what I said and instead forced a civil smile.

She had grown highly adept at ignoring my nonsense.

“Oh, my Lady.
Have you contacted Lord Kardien?”

The moment the name “Kardien” came out for Anne’s mouth, my humming stopped.

While reclining on my chair, I rolled my eyes and cast a glance at the table where some letters were piled.

The letters that bore the stamp of a silver bell and sword were sent by Lucian during the week.

But in fact, even if there was a letter it didn’t amount to much.

Still, I had no choice but to reply to his letter, “No, you can’t.”

“Why don’t you take some time to meet with Lord Kardien? He must want to meet you urgently, my lady.
He’s been sending a letter every two days.”

Of course, I don’t feel comfortable turning him down every time.

But I don’t want to see him.

One reason being that someone was stabbed for meeting Estelle secretly and the other was I could guess why he wanted to see me.

“I’ve been really engrossed in this long novel and it’s made me so distracted lately.
Lord

Kardien will understand.”

Anyway, the most important thing was today’s appointment.

I looked at myself in the mirror.
I was dressed in a pale yellow dress adorned with delicate flowers.
My emerald eyes were highlighted by lilac eyeshadow.

After wearing plain clothes for the past few days, I was pleased to see myself dressed so glamorously after such a long time.

I left the room, satisfied.

“I’ll be back.”

But exactly one second after I left, I stepped right back into the room again.

“What’s wrong, miss?”

I couldn’t answer Anne’s words and took another step back.

In front of me was the man I never wanted to even catch a glimpse of today.

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Lucian.

He still looked as beautiful as ever after a week of not seeing him, but there was something about his beauty and purity that pricked at my conscience.

Lucian said, to me who was too rattled to even greet him, “I heard you couldn’t come out of the room because you started reading a very interesting novel.
But…you must not be reading it today?”

He didn’t say anything out of the ordinary, but why do I feel scared?

I clenched my fist.

‘Don’t be scared, Pernia.
Lucian is an extremely normal person if Estelle isn’t involved.
At least he’s not going to kill or beat you.’ 

I fixed my expression, confident that despite everything, the worst that could happen wouldn’t.
I looked up.

“Yes, I was on the way out because I had an appointment.
But Lord Kardien, you came without any prior notice…”

I took a step towards him and whispered in a very low voice.
Because this was something Anne couldn’t hear.

“Are you afraid I won’t return the money?”

“Huh..?”

Lucian’s eyes widened.

I spoke quickly as I approached him.

“I’m not that kind of person.
I even wrote in the contact stating I would pay ten times the interest if I don’t pay back the initial amount within the deadline.”

That rule was meant for those who always sought scapegoats for their own shortcomings[2].
It was meant to be unfair.

He won’t tell me to pay him back now if I insisted on my integrity.

I have to buy Estelle a dress, shoes and a necklace.
You can’t possibly ask me to pay it all back already.

But his reaction was strange.

It was like, ‘Oh right.
That happened.’

“……that’s not why you’re here?”

“……yes.”

“Then why are you here?”

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 ‘Other than that, why would he come here without notifying me?!’

Notes:

[1] 빵순이라서 It’s a slang that literally means a woman who is addicted to bread.

[2] 원래 방귀 뀐 놈이 성내는 법이다.
무조건 억울해하고 보자.
The proverb means- just as there are people who fart and get angry as if others farted to hide it, it is said about people who deny their mistakes and make excuses.